I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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