The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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