...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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