Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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