Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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