so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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