I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
