I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
