you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
