This girl is more easily done than said...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
