no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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