I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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