people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
