u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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