she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
