the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
