i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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