is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
