That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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