bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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