Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
