That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
