highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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