hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
