i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
