Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
