thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
