Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
