C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
