Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i dont even know how to be here
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
