You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
