i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
