I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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