No awkward lesbian experiences without me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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