Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
