so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
