i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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