I didn't shave. On purpose
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
