how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
