I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
