You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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