He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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