After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
