i already hear my dad disowning me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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