We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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