A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
