I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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