that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
