Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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