I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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