come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
